The beginning of 2014

Well this year has stung a bit and it's not even February. 2013 was amazing and well let's face it, all years can't be like that. I have this cool app called Timehop and it sends me daily updates about what I was doing the previous years -I have my Instagram, Facebook, and iPhone pics all synced up. It's pretty neat and totally free which is awesome. I promise I'm going somewhere here...

Anyways, Timehop sent me a notification about a status update I posted 4 years ago: "The sun shines so much brighter when you experience the darkness it saves you from." Courtesy of my bro-in-law, Wes. And I couldn't help but smile because it was still so very applicable today.

At the beginning of the month, we unexpectedly lost Chris' uncle. Almost 2 weeks ago, we had to put our familly dog, Penny down. She was 16 and had been with Chris since he was in junior high. And then last week, we received a phone call that Chris' grandma had passed away. I should also mention here that after about a month of being in the hospital and several strokes/seizures, they moved my 94 year old grandpa to hospice care two days ago. We are headed to see him next week, probably for the last time.

You catch all that? When it rains it pours. But that's the thing. All this "darkness" makes me appreciate the "sun" so much more. Similar to the Gospel in that the "bad news" (aka we are all sinners and don't deserve a gosh darn thing) makes the "good news" (Christ died for our sins) so much more good.

It's made me a bit more aware of how special this one life really is. Don't get me wrong, I'm still exhausted as all get out and my house still isn't as clean as I like it and there STILL aren't enough hours in the day to handle "all the things." (And I may still need to put myself in a timeout some days when I lose it. Don't laugh, you know we've all been there.) But it shifts my perspective a bit more. I'm grateful for this chaos. I'm grateful for this mundane "normal." Because it means we are all happy, healthy, and alive.

Having two kids is hard. Having a toddler and a baby is even harder. Luke is at the stage where alot of my interactions with him begin with "No," "Stop,""Don't..." and of course I never say these things to Emilee because well, she's only 4 months old.

So I thought it was time Luke and I had some special time just us two. A few weeks ago, Grandma watched Em and I was able to take Luke to Disneyland and meet up with some of our friends. It was on record, one of the most special days Luke and I have ever had. Sure it was only a few hours and we didn't do anything too out of the ordinary. But I was able to devote 100% of my attention to Luke and he ate. it. up. I could just tell his little love tank was overflowing. And it continued to overflow the rest of the weekend. I don't think I've ever seen him so sweet, obedient, and well, just plain fun to be around.

It made me realize it's important to do special things with each of my kids. But to really make sure Luke gets the special time right now since Emilee still demands so much on a daily, if not hourly basis.

I'm kind of all over the place today. Sure these aren't the happiest of times right now but yet they are the happiest times. I'm thankful for this life - both the good and the bad. It's seems to really be "raining" here right now but when I look at both my kids, all I see is the bright shining SON.

Did you see what I did there? Son instead of sun? Like son as in Jesus. Boom. Straight up genius. (Hey, I've never proclaimed to be humble.)

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Courtney said...

I'm just smiling at him little love tank overflowing. You are such a good mama.

I'm sorry for all of the losses you have been dealing with. That just plain stinks.

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